1) Fundraising was a series of repeatedly swallowing my pride. I’m the oldest of five children and have been working since I was 13 years old. To ask for the nearly $19,000 needed to embark on this mission was a humbling experience. Am I worthy of the funds? Will I come off as a beggar? Will I appear self-righteous? Will I be rejected? All of these questions loomed in the air around my mind. It got easier when I dug into His word and what He says about being commissioned. I had to remain steadfast in what He has called me into and trust that He would make a way. Let me tell you that He is faithful when you depend on Him wholeheartedly.
2) Comfort was a hard one. I LOVE a fluffy bed, scorching hot showers, air conditioner, and comfort food. To sacrifice these things is harder now as I write this from an indigenous village where I experience the brunt of this. I’m surrounded by teammates constantly. Sometimes I’m grumpy and I have to swallow that. I know that at the end of these 11 months I can turn off my suffering. It’s not like that for the street children desperately trying to sell me a Guatemalan flute. Jesus calls us to consider others better than ourselves. What gives me the right to complain about other people’s everyday reality?
3) Another one is my insomnia. This is huge for me and has plagued me since kindergarten. I remember running around my house like a spy as a child when everyone else fell asleep. That has morphed into a restless mind, an immunity to melatonin, and relentless nightmares. It causes exhaustion and issues focusing that bleed into my days. A sense of anxiety washes over me when the night sky reveals itself. Please be praying that I overcome chronic insomnia and nightmares without a dependency on medication this year.
4) Lack of control – wow, this is a huge one. I didn’t realize what this would do to me until I got here. We’re withheld information about future plans to challenge us to stay present and pour ourselves into the current moment. We’re in dangerous areas where we often can’t leave the compounds we’re residing in – protected by alarm systems, electrical fences, and other homemade security devices. To gaze at mountainous landscapes behind curls of barbed wire is tough. My mind has wings and I struggle to suppress its longings.
The homemade security system at New Generations campus we are staying at in Chichicastenango, Guatemala.
5) Leaving my life, family, and friends behind. This one hurts. The devil whispers that I will be forgotten and unable to relate to my peers when I return. My youngest sisters are starting middle and high school this year. Concerts and events are making a comeback post covid. I want to be a part of it all. However, the Lord reassures me that what He is calling me into is far greater than anything I leave behind. This year will enable me to be a light and blessing for others. It will allow me to see with spiritual eyes for the rest of my life.
Love this and love you! Your life at home can wait, you have bigger mountains to climb right now. I am so excited for what He will accomplish in you this year.
I appreciate you so much and can’t wait to sit with you again!
Thanks mom, love you miss you! Make sure you reply to my post and not other people’s comment lol 🙂
Your words mean so much. Thanks for reading! Love you more!! Can’t wait to hear about your adventures in the air.
Thank you! Cannot wait to see you here in Guate. 🙂
You have more courage determination and love then I’ve seen and any person your age. God has a great plan for your life that will surpass anything you could ever imagine. I will always love and adore you my heart is with you I pray angels around you and your Teams. It will come back and changed woman I’m so proud of you love always aunt Cindy
Thanks for the update! Invaluable faith & life experiences & lessons. ????
Yes I did it in my phone. When I looked again on my computer I saw where my comment was but it wouldn’t let me change it. 🙂
Lindsey,
I am so proud of you and can’t wait to hear how God uses you to witness for him. I look forward to your updates and pray God keeps you and your team safe. I love you and can’t wait to give you the biggest hug!
Of course, that’s right! So hoping we make it back to Chiang Mai
Thanks so much
I read this today, thought it fits your situation:
“You must learn to become comfortable with psychological disturbance. If your mind becomes hyperactive, just watch it. If your heart starts to heat up, let it go through what it must. Try to find the part of you that is capable of noticing your mind is hyperactive and your heart is heating up. That part is your way out.” From The untethered soul.
Ugh, I second that! So glad to have you following along on this journey with me.
Ooo that’s a different perspective. I will ponder that one and am enjoying the audio book. Thank you!!
I’m continuing to pray Psalm 91 over you, Lindsey. Love you much!
Lindsey… As always, your honesty and insight are inspiring. If God is asking you to abandon pride, comfort and control, He must really have big plans for your heart! I’ll pray for your sleep, and for perseverance as you use this season to pursue God.
Lindsey… we are all praying for you. You could never be forgotten and this experience will teach you so many life lessons. You are loved by so many. Love following your journey… and love you more!
So honest and real. I am standing with you in these prayers and can’t wait to see the crazy ways I KNOW the Lord will show in the midst of these petitions!